Anyone who has ever been betrayed by a cheating spouse knows what it is like to be unable to get the images of that affair out of their mind. When dealing with infidelity, it can sometimes be impossible to stop playing that 'movie' over and over again in your head. Even if you know the affair is over and you have both vowed to get past it and start over, you will likely keep having these recurring thoughts and have a difficult time dealing with infidelity.
For a woman, even if you don't know what the 'other woman' looks like or who she is, you will undoubtedly picture her as more attractive than you, perhaps even perfect. In your recurring thoughts you see flashes of your husband with her laughing and having a good time together or even in an intimate embrace. Letting these images into your mind is like picking at a scab and letting the wound bleed again.
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Repeating these images is not a healthy way of dealing with infidelity and only allows the distrust in our spouse as well as the fear and betrayal to grow rather than to heal. These recurring thoughts do nothing but drag you down and you are helpless against them. You don't want to see these pictures in your head, but there is a part of your subconscious that is compelled to let them in over and over again even though you may know that dealing with infidelity this way is wrong.
Recurring thoughts of an infidelity are like emotional quicksand, pulling you deeper and deeper into despair even a long time after the affair is over. The longer these recurring thoughts continue, the more physically and emotionally drained you become and the harder they are to stop. Until you stop them, you cannot begin dealing with infidelity.
But there are some things you can do for dealing with infidelity that can help those awful images stop haunting you. It may not be easy, but with a lot of effort you can get power of those recurring thoughts. With this 3-step exercise you can weaken the images while gaining back your own power and dealing with infidelity.
1. Schedule a time and place to let in the recurring thoughts.
The first step towards positively dealing with infidelity is to gain control of the recurring thoughts. Set aside time to intentionally let them in. While this may not seem healthy, you may discover that having control over them occasionally can be empowering.
Pick a specified time and then find a place that is quiet where you can be comfortable, relaxed, and without fear of interruption. This will be the only place and the only time that those recurring thoughts are allowed.
2. Let in the recurring thoughts.
Once in this designated spot, let those images back into your head. In these circumstances you are in control of the exercise by deliberately letting them in.
3. Take control of the recurring thoughts.
Once those images are in your mind, it is up to you to manipulate them. This can help you start dealing with infidelity properly. One option is to play the fantasy backwards in your head like rewinding a movie. This exercise tends to make most people start to feel better. However, if it is not helping, you should stop it immediately.
If you do have success with this technique, repeat it several times, rewinding the 'movie' more quickly each time. This repetition will help to set these changes into your mind.
While this 3-step technique can potentially make a difference for you, there is still more to dealing with infidelity.
Dr. Frank Gunzburg, Ph.D. has designed a program called How to Survive an Affair. This program involves even more steps for dealing with infidelity and stopping upsetting recurring thoughts. Feelings are strongly influenced by images and unhappy images can be debilitating. His system can teach you to cope with, as well as get past the thoughts that are keeping your from regaining peace and a happy life.
Here's what you will learn when you invest in
Phase I: Individual Healing - Understanding Personal Feelings and Sorting through Emotions
- My Spouse Had An Affair - How To Manage Your Emotions
- Handling Your Inner Struggle - How To Heal Yourself From The Plague Of Negative Thoughts
- The Cheating Partner - How To Cope With Your Emotions And Restore Trust With Your Partner
- How Does An Affair Start? - Understanding Why It Happened And What It's Going To Take To Heal
Phase II: Healing As a Couple - Working Together to Identify and Resolve Key Issues
- Preparing For Recovery - Steps For Moving Towards Healing
- Communicating Your Feelings - A Step-By-Step Recipe For Talking
Phase III: Negotiating a Renewed Relationship - Understanding How to Rebuild and Sustain a New Trust-filled Partnership
- Restoring The Trust - Learn How To Become Totally Transparent
- Rebuilding Your Life Together - How To Develop A Strong Stable Relationship
- Accepting The Past And Moving On To A Brighter Future - Learning To Accept The Affair In Order To Move On With Your Life Together
- Protecting Your Promise - The Relationship Contract
Don't put off healing for too long; it can eventually cause irreparable damage